Passionatly Unenthusiastic

A few days ago, I awoke with a weird feeling coming from between my legs. I never felt it before, so I was a bit startled. I removed the blanket and threw it on the floor. To my surprise, I saw a gigantic lump bulging my underwear. My heart raced. My hands were clammy and my nipples hard. I didn’t know what it was, so I peeked under my panties. A sense of sickness, and at the same time, a sense of excitement filled my chest. My clit had grown several feet in length! What am I supposed to tell my mom?! That I became the 8th wonder of the world? I began to stroke it and it grew much larger. I removed my underwear because it had no more room to grow. I started moaning and curling my toes in pure ecstasy. My neighbors had to have been able to hear me, but I didn’t care. My clit, my… clit. MY CLIT! Oh, God. I came, and semen, or something that looked like semen, sprayed all over my room in systematic squirts. Sweet Jesus, why has this happened to me of all people? Is it a curse, a gift, or just a freak accident? But… weirdly enough, I kind of like this new addition to my life… My 6 foot clit. My friend. My destiny. 

der-einsame-junge:

That moment you’re scrolling through facebook, “What am I doing on here? I have a tumblr. lololololol”

How most people look after being rained on:

How I look after being rained on:

It was my birthday party.

It was a costume party.

……

I was Ke$ha.

Good night.